Odysseus here, your one and only
source into Greece's elite.
"Let me tell you of all the witch's subtle craft..." (239) Nice hat Circe, it really works for you.
Hey all you
gossip-seeking-Grecians, wondering what I’ve been up to lately? I’m sure you
have. Well, I realized I haven’t updated you all in such a long time, so I
decided to give you the scoop. We landed on this island Scheria, oh, a couple days
ago, and I have finally found a place with internet! Well a lot has happened
since my last post, but now’s for the real gossip. I stayed with Circe the
Nymph, for what, a year maybe? You might have seen her in some of the magazines;
she’s very popular on the Aeaean Island. Oh yes, last month’s issue of άνθρωποι
showed how to get those glossy braids of hers. Anyway, while Circe may look
fine to the rest of the world, she’s keeping something big from everyone, and I was great enough to find out what. After a long journey, I can say
with certainty that Circe is a witch.
I saw it with my own eyes. She turned my men into pigs! My sources tell me,
“off they went to their pens, sobbing and squealing as Circe flung them acorns,
cornel nuts and mast, common fodder for hogs that root and roll in mud.” Just
terrible, but don’t you worry, I saved them. Looking for some more scoop?
Hermes helped me. Yes, that Hermes, the
one who lives up on Mount Olympus. Do I even need to explain who that is?
Anyone who has been following my blog for some time should know he's a god. Anyway, after
I found out about what happened to my men, I immediately tried to send an
update to you guys but I couldn’t find internet, so I had to yell at
Eurylochus, “stay right here, eating, drinking safe by the black ship. I must
be off. Necessity drives me on.” I mean, I had to find Wi-Fi right?! Ok back on
track, I was walking and then Hermes (in disguise I might add) told me to go
and talk to Circe, and gave me a magic herb to take. I still don’t understand
why he disguised himself, I mean, maybe he didn’t want to be on my blog, who
knows. If your reading this H, too late! So I went on to the halls of Circe and
my heart was a heaving storm at every step, she was a witch, I’ve never
blogged about a witch before! She tried to bewitch me when I got in there, but
I was too smart for her because of those magic herbs. Sorry C! She tried to
turn me into a pig too, but I was too fast for her, take that! I got my men
turned back to normal after sleeping with her, of course. It always works, I
have to say! Since I always am treated in the best way, I was given a bath,
rubbed with oil, and then put on a warm fleece and had a shirt put around my
shoulders. It was all nice, not a 5 star hotel, but close. Then my men and I
feasted and ate. That went on for a year or so, it was nice while it lasted. We
tried to go home after that, but Circe gave us a few tasks first. That’s a
different story and you’d be surprised what kinds of things you find out in the
Underworld. I guess it’s a small Underworld as after all as well.
I guess that I learned a few things over there. First, do not trust witches. C, I'm talking to you. You will be with them for quite some time... Resist! And also get some magic herbs before you face Circe, otherwise you will not be human when you get out of there. Additionally, if someone come's up to you in disguise, they're probably a God. I would know, the gods can't resist me. I guess I shouldn't leave anything up to my crew either. Something always seems to go wrong with those men. Furthermore, do not stay with Circe for long period's of time, I think she has attachment issues. She wasn't so keen into letting me off her island.
To recap, Why
is C keeping it from everyone that she’s a witch? What does H have against C? How
is C going to possibly live without me?!
And who am I? Thats a secret I'll
never tell..wait a minute of course I would!
You know you love me,
Xoxo,
Odysseus
Want to know more? Look at older blog posts more Grecian Gossip.
Entries:
Ithaca- My first post!
Troy- Trojan Horses, the new way to get around?
Scheria- Best new city to travel, be treated in godly ways!
Ismarus- Do Cicones have anger management?
Lotus Island- Lotus, is it the new Caviar?
Cyclops land- No one can hurt you here!
Aeolia- The next Windy City?
Laestrygonia- Cannibalism, in or out?
Aeaea- C's glossy braids appearing on a red carpet near you.
House of the Dead- Its a small Underworld after all!
Island of the Sirens- These are not the Little Mermaid's you know. Charybdis and Scylla Island- Why is eating my men becoming a trend?!
Thrinacia- Solitude- it's not a happy thing.
Calypso's Island- Beware of people who's name starts with the letter C.
